To My Beloved Email Forwarders:

There are a select few folks in my address book that like to send me email forwards. A lot. Let me explain a few things to you:

1) This isn't the first time that I've seen this email that you're forwarding to me. It wasn't funny, shocking, or horrifying the first time that I read it and it's not this time.
2) www.Snopes.com - You should really try it some time. All of those emails that you've sent me about gangs have been proven wrong. People made those stories up. I hope that doesn't make you sad.
3) When you forwarded that email to 15 of your friends, did you get that miracle the email promised you? I didn't think you did....
4) We all know how you feel about President Obama.
5) We all know how you feel about the present state of the economy.
6) We all know how you feel about Jesus (and just because I didn't forward your email to 10 other people doesn't make me love him any less)
7) We all know that Coca-Cola gets rust off of toilet seats.

I love all of you. Now stop it.